Musings - January 2019

Here's the round up of the first month of January. I hope your year had beautiful start. 

Books: I got all flummuxed on what to read! I still want to try to do 50+ books for the year, but then I read where someone said the book you start the year with IS your year. And well, at the time, I was reading both an older social media book and Midnight in the Garden fo Good and Evil - I obviously didn't want to start my year with either outdated info or deception, so I had to go to my bookshelf. And there was the book I was meant to read, LaRae Quy's Mental Toughness for Women Leaders. She's ex-FBI. Since it's 52 tips, I guess you could read and concentrate on one per week but I decided this book would be the perfect way to start my year. And then I finished Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. (I prefer the movie. Sacrilege, I know.) Which is clearly less than the four books I should have read for the month but still not a bad start to the year.


Gratitude: Trying new things. Good chiropractors. Fun restaurants. Unexpected boxes. Cool co-work spaces. Purring cats. Cleared roads. Amazing friends. New ventures. Soft snow.

Listening: Even more podcasts! I went to a luncheon that had Interview Valet's president as a guest and learned about more podcasts! Southern Lady Code is my new favorite as I mourn the coming end of the Bombshell Businesswoman.

Perfume:  Most weekdays I've been wearing  Les Perfumes de Rosine Majalis  and Dirtyque's Ofresia.

Recipes: I'm honestly not sure I cooked most of the month. (Okay, cobbler was made, but the kidlets pretty much require that.) Things have been very busy. The only exception was New Years Day. We made something delicous and sweet to start the year with sweet success.  

Fruit pizza!

Super delicious and easy. 
- 1 container of crescent rolls (I get the reduced calorie kind)
- 1 jar of Nutella
- Your choice of fruit

Unroll the crescent rolls as a single sheet and bake. Allow to cool. Top with Nutella and then your favorite fruit. At our house, that's strawberries (17 loves them) and raspberries (12 loves them) plus blackberries for me. Most the rest of the house eats a combo of fruits.

Self-Care: The soap love continues. My new favorite day is "new soap day" when I open up one of the Cellar Door Bath Supply soaps. The only - tiny - criticism I have is the dark colors do make a bit of a mess in the bath. But they smell gorgeous and lather beautifully enough to double as shave cream.

The great face oil experiment continues with specific oils for evening and morning. (Sad update - no one this month mentioned thinking I'm years uounger than I am.) Every day. Here's the day and night routine:

- Day -I'm still using Juice Beauty's Stem Cellular  Anti-Wrinkle Booster Serum around the eyes. And I'm still totally Juice Beauty for the day. Serum, oil, eye cream, CC cream. While I like to experiment - that pretty much is my standard and it continues to serve me very well. 
- Night - I've kept using  Predire Eye Care Ant-Aging Night Serum. (And reminder, I did not pay retail for it! I picked it up for about 1/10th that price on a Vegas business trip last fall.) I'm still using Little Barn Apothecary oil  plus Juice beauty nutrient cream as my skin has started to chap with the winter weather change. 


Things 12 said: We went ice skating. 12 was magnificent. I clung to the side of the rink for 5 turns. I fell 4 times and had to visit the chiropractor a few extra times the next week. But when I asked what the best part of her week was, she said ice skating - so there is that.

There was also cross-country skiing! My second time. 12 and 13 took the hills like champions, and Guy was amazing. I fell. A lot. But like life - it counts that you keep trying to get up.
- 12: How many times DID you fall?
- Me: I gave up counting after 5, Little.
- 12: You did keep getting back up.
- Me: And that is what counts in skiing and most all of life.

Side note - snow is MUCH softer than ice, if you have to fall on something. 


Watching: Tidelands which has the most gorgeous soundtrack ever. (The mythology is a touch wobbly but it's a good Netflix watch.) I caught up on Bull and Criminal Minds. And then I re-started The Americans from the beginning.  

Random: I made things! A gallery that teaches fused glass classes has opened up near me; I've taken a few classes now. Last month, ornaments. This month, pendants. 

Here they are unfired and fired. Strangely, I almost prefer the unfired. Something about the sharp edges appeal to me. 

Take-away - Your life is made up of the every day. It's the small habits that that make you or break you. Want to change? Start with one small thing and build it. And never step away from the opportunity to do something new.

PS - January 21st is the day that marks the fall of resolutions. If you need a kick to start back up, I have a digital book that can help! (Click here to read more.) 

Original musings posts you may enjoy:

- Musings - December 2018
- Musings - November 2018
- Musings - October 2018
- Musings - September 2018
- Musings - August 2018
- Musings - July 2018
- Musings - June 2018

- Musings - May 2018
- Musings - April 2018
- Musings - March 2018
- Musings - February 2018
- Musings - January 2018

- Musings - December 2017

- Musings - November 2017

- Musings - October 2017

- Musings - August 2017
- Musings - June 2017
- Where Did March Go?

- Musings - February 2017
- Musings - January 2017

- Message in a Bottle (2016)

All photos by moi! And you can tell...

*Juice Beauty is a staple in my beauty cabinet. I stray, I try other things - but it's my favorite "foundation" (I used the CC Cream) and great skin care. If you like Juice Beaty too, here is a link. I do get a small commission (at no cost to you) when you use these links which helps support this blog.

- Skin Care by Juice Beauty

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To My Girls - Part 1

I wasn't blessed with a daughter. Instead, I got something else. I got beautiful nieces; amazing cousins young enough to be my daughters; and then in mid-adulthood when I'd stopped dreaming of a daughter, three wonderful #NotMyDaughters. Most of "my girls" are grown or close to it.  (Except the youngest, not pictured due to age.) 




My girls, it wasn't always possible for me to be a daily part of your lives, but I did what I could from wherever I was (picking you up at school, having you  overnight  - 529 accounts for some, helping some get into and succeed at higher education, and the care and feeding of all of you whenever possible.) I promise I was always there with my heart open, whether you realized it or not. As you blossom into amazing women, I know you have less even need to me. But, I am here at Bunny Haven Manor when you do need me. You have my number, and my home is open to you, as it has always been. I'm here when you need me. That's what #NotTheMommas are for.

When you go out in the world, I always want you to remember to be 3 things above everything else:
- Be smart
- Be kind
- Be brave

However important those 3 things are, they are not everything you might need to be or know in this world. Sometimes I worry that time or distance may mean that you will need something and I won't be there to help or you won't think to turn to me. The best thing I can think to do is to "arm" you with knowledge to succeed on your own terms. So, I'm going to do a few posts on what I consider basic life knowledge you should have. You spent enough time with me that you were not raised by wolves - however, there may be subtleties of life knowledge still to explore.

We'll start with 11 rules for being and staying pretty. Not because it's the most important, but, because in many ways it is the easiest. There will be other parts where we'll tackle finances, cooking, and cleaning - possibly more. (And you all know I have my own life rules. ) But we will start here, with being and staying pretty.

Some of what I'll tell you is common sense. Some of it science will prove wrong. It's okay, later science will prove it right again. 

1) Pretty is as pretty does. In the end, how people will remember you has less to do with how you look than how you treat them. And ugly shows through. Practice being gracious. 

2) Sunscreen. Every burn and tan ages your skin. Especially areas that don't have much natural protection - like your neck and chest and the top of your hands. Every day. Hats when you can. Sunglasses. The sun is changing. It will not be kind to us at any time soon.

3) Don't contaminate your skin. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your body. Synthetic fragrances can disrupt your hormones (and more importantly, potentially your children's). Have care in what you buy with fragrance - perfume, make-up, skin care.

There are so many options for natural perfumes! Sometimes I wear them and you tell me you like that scent. Lucy B, Margot Elena (Library of Flowers, Toykomilk, Love + Toast, Lollia, The Cottage Greenhouse), Tsi-La, In Fiore, Strange Invisible Perfumes, and many more every day.

From point 2, look at natural options for lotions, soaps, and sunscreens as well. Zum, Mrs Meyers, Jason, Alba, Kiss My Face are fantastic options. 

Many of the colors in cheap make-up have toxic elements. No reason to use those when you live in what is the golden era of natural makeup! Au Natural Cosmetics, IT Cosmetics, Iila, Bare Minerals, Tarte, Laura Mercier, 100% Pure, Juice Beauty, French Girl - and those are just a few I've tried! (You can order a good number direct and others via Ulta. Some, like Burt's Bees are mostly natural and available from the drug store.) There will be more. The world is awakening to how to use the gifts we've been given on this planet. (Yes, darlings, I know about Vapour Beauty. Their customer service is rude and the product has issues with tubes. Nope.)

You can buy expensive Lush masks or wasteful single use sheets. Or you can buy good quality clay + matcha dry and add a few things.... honey for moisture and anti-bacterial; strawberries for moisture, antioxidant and mildly astringent; yogurt (plain) for moisturizing and skin brightening; egg white for skin tightening; maple syrup (organic) for anti-aging; a simple addition of rose water to add scent to a dry mask.  Dry masks (a mix of clay, etc.) are economical and last a good bit. Then you just mix them up when you want them.

4) Wash your face. Coco Chanel once said something to the effect of "A woman without perfume is a woman without a future." She didn't just mean scent. She meant self-care. Even if you didn't wear make up, wash your face at the end of every day to take the day off (sweat, dead skin, dirt, etc.) This small act of self-care means something. (And you don't have to wash your face 2x a day, especially if your skin is dry - just a simple splash of water and a swipe of witch hazel prep your skin for moisturizer.)

Keep point 3 in mind when you pick what to wash with. And make sure you have something to delicately remove your eye makeup because of point 5.

5) Your skin is not infinitely elastic. You will find that out in your 40s that you should've done, so start doing them now:

     - Use your ring finger to pat creams and lotions into your eye area. 

      - Remove your eye makeup gently. Without rubbing and pulling.

     - Whatever cream or lotion you put on your face, put on your neck as well.

     - Use an upward motion to put on creams, lotions, oils or make-up.

     - Frownies are a fairly awesome way to help keep between brow lines down

   - Sleep on your back. Side sleepers will get wrinkles on that side first (uneven wrinkling, weird - and let's not talk about what it does to the chest area.) Stomach sleepers will age/wrinkle even faster.

6) Your hair needs good care. Quality shampoo and conditioner is required. Cheap hair care can give you issues with color and breakage. (Reminder - dry shampoo only goes on the roots for oil, unless you need texture.) Have a light hand with the amount of extra heat (drying, curling, straightening) and chemicals you use.

7) Lasers and tweezers are your friend. (Also good light and a strong mirror. Make sure you have those.) Threading is also good. Wax can be weird, especially if you have wavy hair. (But NADS are good in an upper lip emergency.) Shaving - and don't be fooled by micro-dermabrasion facials, it's a razor - is a last resort. And never the chemical options - see point 3 if you have forgotten. (I'm not telling you this to make you attractive to men - or women - I'm telling you this because some of us just don't like dark hair on light skin. And I've tried nearly every option on the planet.) The faster you get it permanently handled, the faster you can get to quick showers and faster prep time. Life enhancing!

8) Drink water. Preferably without fake crap in it like flavors and artificial sugar. (Also stop with the diet soda! Gallstones. Gout. Cancer. Use sugar or stevia or honey.) And if you drink tea - drink organic, as it doesn't get rinsed off of pesticides before being made into tea. (You don't want to drink hot pesticide water.) Eat fruit, but not too much, and plenty of veggies. Yes, this is a beauty tip. You can eat crap in your teens and twenties. But by your thirties, they start to show up as extra weight and wrinkles. The easiest beauty tip is to eat better things and better quality younger.

9) You are prettier than you realize. Stop using filters. Just take your picture. Someday you will realize you are beautiful. 

10) Don't spend too much time on trends like those strange overdone, painted in eyebrows. They aren't flattering and don't look natural. And my glory - the upkeep! There are better ways to spend your time.

11) Always do something you love. If you can't make a living with it, then give yourself time to do it. That happiness will show on the outside!

Please remember 3 things, my darlings: I believe in you. I love you. And, I am proud of you. Always.

Pictures are via Instagram, Gingertown photography

And for 100% transparency, I think I'm supposed to mention that:
1) I do own stock in Hain Celestial - which creates the Jason and Alba lines. I own that stock because I like the products. That's how I invest and also why I share.
2) I do get an affiliate link benefit from this link - Skin Care by Juice Beauty 

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Musings - February 2018

For most people, February is a short month. For me it has been very emotionally long. Family upheaval. Changes. Sick puppy. Big snow. It is the kind of month which makes me want to hide out for a week or two and just not deal.

Books: There were books. But I didn't finish them. I'm trying a new reading technique that is 10-20 pages of up to 5 books at a time per day. I find it makes completing a single book in any kind of reasonable timeframe more difficult. (Plus one of my current "books" is a 3-in-1 book of the author's work in a series making it longer than a normal book.) 

Gratitude: Good chiropractors. Pet insurance. Coloring. Jams.  (There is a lovely breakfast and retail place called Froehlich's Bakery where they make their own exotically delicious jams. I've been told I may have a jam problem - I bought: Habanaro Apricot, Tea Time Blackberry, Strawberry Margherita) Puppy pill pockets. The toughness of lilac buds. Cross-country skiing. (It was my first time. It was fun! I fell a good bit.)

Listening: Best of Bond. (The theme songs.) And whatever Pandora plays me. 

Perfumes: Magazine Street. Paper Flowers.

Recipes: I didn't make up any new recipes. But I did make a fairly awesome Strawberry Shortcake (recipe via Taste of Home) for the Artistic Girl's 18th birthday. (I do recommend letting the strawberries, sliced, "relax" with a touch of vanilla and 1/2 cup sugar for the baking time. Use a slotted spoon to serve up.) It was extremely well received! I'm pretty sure my delicious differentiator is the homemade whipped cream.

Self-care: I've been exploring various natural make-up line concealers for the last few months. Alone. In tandem. With powder. With CC cream. With different mascaras. Bare faced but for the concealer.

I've always had dark circles. And sometimes my skin is angry. When I used Bare Minerals, carefully applying layers of powder would build up coverage on any angry spots but didn't really help the dark circles. Now that I've switched to Juice Beauty CC's Cream as my primary skin coverage, I've been working on options for concealing dark circles and spots. This is what I've discovered so far.

- Juice Beauty Correcting Concealer (tube)  is in the line I love but really lacks coverage. It's watery. And it's almost like not wearing anything on a blemish or dark circle.

- Juice Beauty Perfecting Concealer (cream tin) does the job on the dark circles but if applied anywhere else, it cracks in a few hours. The result, on my skin, looked fake.  (This was, however, my second favorite due to the good dark circle coverage and the quality ingredients of the brand.)

- It Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye (tube) has serious coverage. So much so, I had to watch a video on how to properly apply it!  (Warm in hand first. Mix between fingers. The apply to undereye.) It is never cakey but somehow it feels visually heavy and "fake". Used sparingly, this had merit.

- Laura Geller Baked Radiance Concealer  (cream tin) was my winner for coverage. Hydrating for my dry skin. Excellent dark circle coverage. Works if applied sparingly to blemishes. The one challenge I had was that my waterproof mascara tended to smear with this formulation. (Didn't matter which mascara. I tried 3.) If I carefully applied the lightest touch of powder at the base of my lower lashes, the smearing was better. Due to the coverage and ingredients, this was my favorite concealer.

This still isn't a beauty blog. But I'm honest. And I like to try things. And I like to share information. I hope you find it helpful!

Stress: The puppy became ill again. It's something with his liver. We're testing. More soon.

Continuing family stress. 

On the maternal side, they don't seem to understand that the actions of one - unchecked by all of them - have gone on long enough and will not be tolerated in any way, any shape, or any form - ever again. No more polite lies about why I'm not there for "family events". The truth is that she has made me so amazingly unwelcome for so very many years without hindrance from them (in fact with their help) that there is no going back. And they have chosen her version of the truth. Done. 

On the paternal side, there have been some changes in Southern Gram's living arrangements which have resulted in people displaying their very worst sides. Greedy. Grasping. Lacking gratitude. Unwilling to help or be a solution and so very much finger-pointing blame. It's been ugly. And it makes me sad. 

These stresses are some of the reasons I go to therapy. I speak to someone (the same person for several years now) one or two times a month. There is no shame in that. It's a fresh viewpoint into stale wounds. It's new tools for the same problems. It helps me find ways to improve my present relationships and keep my emotional balance when things like the passing of La Gram Russe threaten it. It helps me own my worth, for the first time, among "family" who has squelched it. It helps me be a better, more balanced person for those who are presently part of my life.

If you are going through changes or challenges, I urge you to seek an anchor -be it counselor, friend, minister, or therapist. Find someone to listen and help you through it. You will be stronger for it. There is a reason wabi-sabi is an art.

Things 11 Told Me:

- Yes, I'm full in my regular stomach from breakfast; but my candy stomach is empty. (She was lobbying for a cookie for breakfast.)

- (After a very sad, angry disappointment, when I asked if she was feeling better) Only on the outside. On the inside, I'm still very angry.

She is often right on so many levels.

Watching: Impostors. Star Trek: Discovery (interesting how dark and reptilian the Klingons look). Criminal Minds (all caught up.) 

Random:Oh, y'all. Customer service really really matters. Remember last month when I called out Vapour Beauty? It didn't get better.  I got an email from them - and I replied with that blog post. To which they unsubscribed me from their email list - and didn't resolve the product issue (that I have 3 eye crayons drying out because they don't seal correctly) nor did they address the customer service issue at the heart of my complaint. And yet, this week I got a re-subscription email from them because they changed website platforms and don't know how to make automation work for them instead of being in the way of their "service". Oyi. 

And what I have to say to that is... Ilia Beauty. I'm not loving the color range as much as I did Vapour, but I'm sure they will expand it. I'm trying Moonbeams & Polka Dots right now. 

Take-away - Do you remember the L'Oreal line, "Because you are worth it." Yes, you are worth it. And you need to remember that.

Original musings posts you may enjoy:

- Musings - January 2018

- Musings - December 2017

- Musings - November 2017

- Musings - October 2017

- Musings - August 2017
- Musings - June 2017
- Where Did March Go?

- Musings - February 2017
- Musings - January 2017

- Message in a Bottle (2016)

All photos by moi! And you can tell...

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**This, like all my posts, is not promoted or compensated in any way. There is an affiliate link in the Shop tab for Juice Beauty products. (Basically if you click the link and then buy Juice Beauty products from their website, I get a small amount of compensation.) Unlike many blogs, I have just a few affiliate links. The reason is that if I don't love something, I don't share it. And I only want you to have the best!

Paint It Purple

Pantone has spoken. And the color of 2018 is....Ultra Violet. Or grape. Like many things, it depends on your perspective.

Spiritual. Regal. Creative. A delicate blend of opposites. Artistic. Complex. Mystic.

Pantone selects the color of the year based on current cultural influences.  Or at least that's the company line.

Sometimes I think they pick what they want to see in the world. Compromise? Less stark distinction? Other times I'm concerned by the implied acceptance the color engenders to some bigger ideal. We live in a democracy. Ultra Violet is not a democratic color. It's the color of royalty. However, the color does have an inherent richness. Perhaps it's a wishful nod at better times to come.   

Take-away -  Experience colors perception. But a fresh start is always possible. 

Other blog posts you might enjoy:
- Color, A Random Post (2016)
- An Orchid Year (2014)
- Pantone, Again (2013)
- Orange Love (2012)

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Three Lipsticks

On her dressertop, La Gram Russe had a filigreed golden holder for 3 lipsticks. The usual combo was a flattering pink for every day, a brown-pink alternative, and a reddish shade for special. I have a similar holder on my bathroom counter but it's a little more stuffed.

- Cabernet (Juice Beauty)
- Game Day (Pur Minerals)
- Toxic Cherry (Buxom)
- Cherry (Burts's Bees)
- Wild (Tarte)
- Glamour (Ulta)
- Daredevil (Pur Minerals)
- Crushed Coral (Kismet)
- Rhubarb (Burt's Bees)
- Wildflower (Kismet)
- Stardust (Lancome)
- Hawaiian Smolder (Burt's Bees)
- Hibiscus (Covergirl's Nature Lux line - which may now be defunct)
- Naked Gypsy (Kismet)

The funny part is I don't wear several of the colors; they just take up space on my counter. Naked Gypsy is too pale for my taste. Cabernet is weirdly dark and has a strange, thick, gritty texture. (My first clue I wouldn't like it should have been Gwyneth Paltrow as the Juice covergirl. Major disconnect for me. Not a Goop girl. I find Gwyneth quite out-of-touch with the real world.) The Stardust is a brand I don't buy and was a hand-me-down from my mother (she often receives freebies that are much too light for her Asiatic skin tones but work for the Russian/Irish paleness of my skin tone.) While Wildflower and Crushed Coral are brighter than my usual - they are American made and lovely. In truth, most days I grab one of the Pur Minerals or Burt's Bees and just do a quick swipe of color. I like that they are made with natural ingredients, easy to wear, and great colors.

But some days, I wonder if we aren't  - if I'm not - over complicating life. One of the beautiful things about La Gram Russe's 3 holder system is that it limited the number of morning decisions she had to make. (Much recent research has focused on our ability to make a limited number of decisions and that our best decision making happens in the morning.)  She didn't spend money frivolously on  extra options she wouldn't wear. And each of the choices was always "right" because she only kept 3 flattering shades. 

Take-away - It's your life and your choice. How simple or how complicated you make the choices are up to you. 

Photos by moi! (As usual, and you can tell.)

PS - I threw out the Cabernet and Naked Gypsy after taking this photo, despite the blow to my frugal soul. Down with clutter!

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PSS - for those of you who follow the comments in blogs, the awesome founder of Juice Beauty (Karen Behnke - who has a fantastic Michigan vibe)  reached out to me about trying a different Juice Beauty lip product. I'm currently loving the Photo-Pigments Luminous Lip Crayon in Zuma - texture is smooth and light while the color is present but subtle. (I see a purchase of Pebble in my future....) Because women ingest a scary amount of what they put ON their lips, you should always be as organic as possible with lip color. Juice Beauty fits that bill.

Other posts from me on self-care you might enjoy:

• Is it Kismet?
• The Eyes Have It
• Scents and Sensibility
• Scrubbed Up
• Scent and Memory 

Color, A Random Post

I think about color more often than I should.  I love color. The richness. The endless variety. Blue will always be a favorite (I even have a book about the History of Blue).  Which means, of course, that I rather ravenously follow Pantone on Twitter. Did you know they tweet out a color of the day? It's almost life-changing*.

And in 2014, I had a theory about Pantone occur. I decided - based on the "evidence" - that the Pantone color team could viably be basing their choice for color of the year on the Chinese New Year.