Summer Days

Yesterday I got to stand outside in the middle of the day for a few minutes. It had just rained. The air was heavy with the scent of milkweed (a bit like honeysuckle and the preferred food of monarch butterfly caterpillars.) The humidity from the inland sea was practically visible in the air.

What was your path?

Random thoughts have been swirling around my head lately. Lots going on in my life - not to me, but more around me. That tends to unsettle me. It makes me more prone to flights of fancy and less inclined to document them.

One of the more interesting (to me) thought tracks had to do with jobs, kids and family expectations.

Lilacs and other Fairytales

Spring is always my favorite time of year. I love the verdant growth. I love the way the trees get painted with green and then everything bursts with color. I love the scents. Lilacs are among my favorites.

Another One Bites The Dust

While birth and death are part of the cycle of life, one doesn't expect institutions to change. But they do, like lipstick colors.

Language

How often do you think of what you say and how you say it?

Potato Chips

Remember that old commercial that you can't have just one potato chip? Uhm, hum. Lots of things are like that: spoon of ice cream, doughnut, pair of shoes, lipsticks, cats....

Or at least I've heard people say the same things about cats. And we all know I have the herd (3). Really - they entertain each other!

But in this case, I meant something else. I love all things potato - people, it can be a battery, a bread or liquor! I probably have potato chips a couple of times a week. Today the nasty mean Pringles chip cut my lip. It hurt all day. And I realized, just because one chip hurt me doesn't mean I'll give them up forever. After all, I quite like potato chips.

I guess men are a little like potato chips. Just because one hurt me doesn't mean I should give them up.

(Mobile post. Soundtrack "Try" by P!nk)

Eeyore

As a child, my room was covered in Winnie the Pooh characters. My mother's boyfriend was an artist. He was a generous man with his time and talents.

He painted a mural over the sink so my mother had a view while doing dishes. (Even though he did them, too.) He sketched Winnie the Pooh characters in my furniture and painted them. He made a painting as big as my three year old self with all the Winnie the Pooh characters.

What You See and What You Don't

Everyone you meet has hidden depths. Some have more challenges than you will ever guess. They disguise them. They ignore them. They live with them.

I'm one of those people.

Dating Profiles

I know a single guy who is moving to another city. While he's fairly social, he's been in the same place and near family for a while. Moving somewhere new will mean meeting new people. Some of them female people. I have it on good authority that he's not always great at noticing when women are interested in him*. So, I've suggested on-line dating but there is the problem of creating dating profiles....

*There's a story that his married friends have to tell him when he's being hit on in bars. Clearly this is a man who needs a little help! Given that I'm handy with words, I offered to make him up a few profiles.

(Advance warning - this is an odd entry and may be unsuitable for small children)

The Rules

My ex likes to joke that I live my life based on so many rules, I have no freedom. He's wrong about this (and many other things). I live by rules but very few:

- Try to treat others as you would be treated
- If you can't carry your own baggage, you've got too much
- At the party, know where you want to be when the "fun" breaks out
- Follow through with what you say you'll do (always)
- No recipe should ever have more than 5 ingredients (spices don't count)

Taste

"You have good taste in....". It usually translates to compatible taste. It's actually a judgement on your taste. I tend to be more accepting. Your taste is yours - no better or worse than mine. It's simply yours. And I accept it as such.

Mugs

Bunny Haven Manor is not a big place. Less than 800 square feet. So there is a strict "in-out" policy. When new (or new to me) things come in, other things must leave. It keeps the place relatively uncluttered. It reminds me that people matter more than stuff.

If Wishes Were Horses

Lately my life seems filled with a lot of "I wish". And it's true. I do wish a lot of things. There is an old phrase about wishing, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride."

Pantone, Again

I've always wanted to say I went somewhere in the Year of the Cat, mostly for the silk dress. Probably not feasible to wait until the next Tiger year to do something amazing as I'm not sure I'll have much amazing left in me by then! (2022) So perhaps, the year of Emerald Green is the year to create a different world.

A Closed Path

Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted I should ever come back. (Robert Frost)

Of late people keep telling me that they see me setting new goals and taking steps forward. The support is amazing and very appreciated. But I'm always slightly puzzled by the observation. Of course I'm making new goals. All my prior goals and plans were an "us" that is no more. I cannot continue on that path as it is closed.

Still Know Nothing About Me

I have a thing for Sting. Always have. The lyrics. The sound. I even like how he's changed and evolved into a different kind of artist - playing in jazz, country and even medieval sounds. One of my favorite Sting songs - Nothing 'Bout Me.

Simple Joys

One of my gifts in life is to take pleasure in non-material things. Blowing bubbles on a summer day. Flying a kite in the fall. Going to an art museum. Or simply drawing with sidewalk chalk. It may be a product of growing up with more imagination than money. It may be the way I'm wired. Either way, I'm always grateful when I get the chance to indulge in my sense of play.

Silence like a Crashing Wave

Being single is different. It's messier (less need to keep "us" organized) and I'm often too busy to keep up. It's less regulated (less need to keep "us" on a predictable schedule). It's a good bit more random. Above all, it's quieter.

What You DO

It's no secret my life has been a challenge of late. In addition to the personal challenges, there have been professional set-backs. "We" made choices about my career; things I would not have chosen if I were thinking about just me rather than our family unit.

Twitter Life

Social media is part of my work life but I have a very different relationship with it in my everyday life. Facebook - meh. Pinterest - take or leave. Twitter - hurray! I love the brevity and immediacy. I love the snippets of people's lives. I love the sharing. I love the inspiration available at my fingertips. I love the news that comes to me with brevity - cuts down on the rhetoric. I love that the topics are as varied as the people. I love that whatever your mood - you can find playmates of like-mind.

Cup of Tea

For me, tea is more than a simple beverage. It's a state of mind. It's a place of being. It's comfort, calm and sometimes family.

Letting Go

Letting go is a process. Some days it's a forward process and some days it's a slippery emotional slope. An article on marriage break-down where I think, "He's a one. I'm a three!" At the vet with the Herd, when the vet tech asks if my handsome husband will be joining me.  A trip to Home Depot to finish off one of the many half-done projects. Any of those trigger the "could have been" about my ex-husband, "Peter" and a crying jag.

Chaos, Panic, Disorder

Source: http://www.paper-source.com

"Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done." It's more than a statement about my disheveled dining room table. It's a catch phrase I like to invoke - occasionally while leaving the emotional room and throwing the metaphorical match over my shoulder.

Thank You

My favorite thing to do the day after Thanksgiving  - which is my favorite holiday EVER - is to clean the house, decorate with lights, break out the holiday music and write out holiday cards. (Yes, "holiday" cards - Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah - whatever people choose to celebrate this time of year, I honor.) Somehow, this little post-Thanksgiving ritual sets the whole winter holiday mood for me and has for the last 20 years.

Truth

As we've finalized the details of separation and sorted through who did what to whom, one thing has become crystal clear to me. The truth of what happened is actually not black and white when made up of feelings. It is much more than a simple "this happened, then this happened".