Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Still Know Nothing About Me

I have a thing for Sting. Always have. The lyrics. The sound. I even like how he's changed and evolved into a different kind of artist - playing in jazz, country and even medieval sounds. One of my favorite Sting songs - Nothing 'Bout Me.


This month has been like that. I've been weighed, measured and judged by my ex, repeatedly. I find it fascinating to have all my actions attributed to feelings I don't have with no basis in logical motivation. To have the timeline of my life warped to suit his perceptions. To be accused of various "sins" based on his fictionalized version of my motivations.

In this life, the one thing I've always had is my truth; I'm unflinching about sharing it - often to the dismay of others! I don't think of truth as a bad thing or judgmental or even final - merely observational in the situation's context and therefore expandable as additional information becomes available. In plain English - it means I can see both the bad and the good in you; I will still love you, be friends with you, and only want the best for you. I do not categorize you as an unworthy human based on perceived "imperfection" or see you as falling short of unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect. I also accept that my truth may not be your truth. We see through different eyes, feel in different hearts and think with different minds.

Apparently the same courtesy is not extended by others. Certainly not by "Peter". I once tweeted a version of "I can't change other people's perceptions - but only I know my reality." Still true. And I've stopped trying to worry about their perceptions. If I can not be accepted, I can be absent. Easily.

Take-away - See that you think, say what you like - but you'll still know nothing about me.