Earlier this week I ran into someone I had not seen in a while. In seeing him I realized how many people and activities I'd let go in my struggle to keep a dying relationship alive. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy spending time with certain people.
I forgot a lot of things. I forgot I like to make a mess being creative. I forgot I like to not have to cook dinner at a certain time and to someone else's taste. I forgot I like to read at 2am. I forgot I like to flirt. I got lost trying to be someone else for someone who never saw me.*
Sometimes it's important to nourish relationships. Sometimes it's important to nourish yourself. In the very best of relationships, you can do both. If you can't - move on to relationships that support who you are.
Take-away - In becoming who you want to be, be sure that you are okay with what/who you leave behind. (Phrased another way - everything has a price, be comfortable paying it or walk away.)
*And if Peter is reading this - you may doubt it. I don't. Every time you communicate with me, you prove how little you knew me while your actions have proven how little you valued me. As I look back, I see all the times you told me I wasn't enough and how I did not measure up to your standards. You chipped and chiseled away at my sense of self-worth. And you continue to try to do so now. It doesn't make you a grown-up. It makes you a small spiteful child.